Cant visit my mums grave

I have decided that on 10th august my mum’s anniversary I’m not going to go to the grave because I don’t want that day to keep reminding me of what happened to my mum I want it to be a day to remember her which is why I’m going to be going during the week to take some flowers I don’t want the day my mum died to be the day I remember how she died some may not be able to understand this but that’s how I feel I went on the day last year and I couldn’t think of my mum all I could think of was that how she died and no one has been caught for it.

I know my mum understands don’t know if everyone else can.